As a new year and decade commence, I will be laying out the Principles of HANDLE as often articulated by Judith Bluestone.
#1 All behavior is communication.
This principle may at first seem obvious, but in everyday life many of us seek to end behaviors before trying to understand what is being communicated. In the case of dangerous behavior, obviously, the first priority must be to safety. But many behaviors of others activate our own behaviors and filters, interfering with us seeing what a behavior could really mean. We assume the meaning is to activate us and this may be true. However, before merely activating a predictable response, the behavior had its genesis in some need to communicate. Always ask, "In the universe of behavior choices, why this one?"
Once in my past life as an elementary school administrator, a second grade teacher reported a student as having disrespectful behavior. I asked (as I always ask), "What did the behavior look like?" She showed me by placing her hands on her hips and head turned to one side. This is a non-verbal that reads, "Oh yeah? Try and make me." However, I was not satified I understood the behavior totally. After reading the school file I realized the the student was nearly blind in one eye and had stability issues. Hands on hips for stability and head turned so that the good eye is on the speaker. Be careful about assuming the interpretation of behavior at once.
Also remember that our own behavior is also communication. Watch "Dog Whisperer" if you don't believe me.
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